Recently, I met a mom who said to me, “Having a kid really ruins your life.” I burst out laughing because you don’t get a lot of moms who will articulate that sentiment, and especially not in person, to someone you’ve just met.
For me, I would say it does, and it doesn’t. From a selfish perspective, I’m certain my path to self-acceptance would’ve been much more circuitous without kids, and minus the generally positive mindset that I have now, I doubt I would’ve led a fulfilling life even if I’d attempted to infuse it with experience and experimentation—which I probably wouldn’t have, given the lack of urgency.
But yes there are limitations to a life with kids, and you do get disappointed with them or you may occasionally dislike them as much as you would anyone else who’s in your space 24/7. But we don’t live by binaries and without a generous dose of bittersweetness and inner conflict in the mix, I would be the first person to be bored with my life.
In any case, I’m 11 years into motherhood and I would still say that all things considered, life is better with kids. Not everyone agrees:
Fischer says she found herself forced to have endless baby conversations with other mothers. She watched friends drop their previous interests and careers for “baking bread or setting up mummy blogs or making jam”.
Oops. Guilty on two counts: baby conversations and blogging. Read the full Guardian article here.