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Independence = Freedom

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The biggest problem with divorce is that most people don’t agree, and that’s why they’re getting divorced. If I had any advice for women now thinking of getting married I’d say never, never, never give up your financial independence. No matter how difficult it may seem, keep one toe in the water: it may make the difference between sinking and swimming.

This article should be required reading for any woman thinking of walking away from a job as she enters into marriage, no matter the motivation.

No man had taken her away and immured her in some comfortable suburb.

That’s a cynical way to characterise a homemaker’s life, but in truth, you do forfeit some of your rights and choices when you forgo your financial independence to any degree.

I started taking on paid assignments when Layla was three months old, only because a girlfriend mailed me to ask, “Are you ready to work again?” and I thought I’d better say yes. I’ve never been able to draw clear boundaries between work and family–I’m always thinking of one while trying to manage the other–but it’s a conflict I’m happy to have. And the relief of drawing a monthly paycheck now, modest as it is, is immeasurable. I supplement that with freelance assignments, and it’s taken me 10 years to have a system in place where I’m not just meeting needs, but targets too.

The plan is to head back to full-time work in 2018/19 though. I do want to do it all. :)

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